Patients undergoing fertility treatment often hear the same advice: “Just relax, and you’ll get pregnant.” While reducing stress is undoubtedly beneficial, this sentiment often shifts from helpful advice to a moral burden. It subtly implies that if pregnancy does not occur, it is a personal failure—a result of “too much anxiety,” “overthinking,” or “clinging too tightly” to the desire for a child.
However, a look at human history challenges this narrative. The 20th century was one of the most brutal periods for humanity, defined by two World Wars that decimated cities and fractured families. Yet, life persisted. Even during the Korean War, hundreds of thousands of babies were born each year. Mothers carried life amidst the rubble, and children were born on the long, desperate roads of displacement. These children eventually became the architects of a modern nation.
Reproduction is a System of Survival, Not a Reward for Happiness The essence of human reproduction is not dictated by our fluctuating emotions. We were not biologically designed to wait for a perfect, peaceful world before we procreate. If human fertility were a delicate mechanism that only functioned in the presence of stability and bliss, our species would have gone extinct eons ago.
Our reproductive systems were built to function in spite of adversity. We were designed to continue life under suboptimal conditions, navigating famine, plagues, and conflicts. The heart beats to sustain life, the lungs breathe to supply oxygen—and the reproductive system exists to pass on the genetic legacy of our species, regardless of the challenges the individual may face.
The Resilience of the Human Spirit In my 30 years of performing over 80,000 IVF retrievals, I have witnessed both the tears and the triumphs of countless couples. I have learned that the miracle of conception does not wait for a perfect moment. I have seen pregnancies succeed in the midst of extreme career stress, personal hardship, and times of profound uncertainty.
The true wonder of human reproduction lies in its resilience. We are not creatures who only reproduce when we are happy. We are a species that prepares for the next generation even in the shadow of anxiety, even through the depths of despair, and even when the future seems obscured by clouds. This persistence is our greatest strength—our most powerful inheritance.
Love: The Ultimate Survival Strategy We have survived until this day not through comfort, but through the enduring power of birth. And at the heart of that birth lies the primal human instinct to love and be loved.
If you are currently facing the challenges of fertility treatment, please release yourself from the guilt of your own stress or fear. Your body is not a machine that refuses to work simply because you are anxious. It is a biological marvel built to endure and to create, precisely because the path ahead is rarely easy.
As long as the instinct to love and nurture remains, life will not cease. The path to creation is often difficult, but it is a path that life has navigated for millennia. You are part of that ancient, resilient lineage. The drive to bring forth new life is not a fragile wish—it is an instinct as old as humanity itself, and it is far more powerful than the anxieties of the present day.
Sources: Reflective perspectives based on 30 years of clinical IVF practice (over 80,000 procedures).
Disclaimer: This column is intended as a message of encouragement and reflection. While emotional well-being is vital, it is not a substitute for clinical fertility treatment.