“Why do we always feel so small and powerless in front of a doctor?”
For anyone who has walked the grueling path of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), this is a question that has surely crossed your mind at least once. This book sets out from this very question—the heavy, silent inquiry that patients carry but rarely voice.
IVF is a journey endured with the body, but ultimately, it is a battle fought within the mind. Yet, the more desperately a patient hopes for a pregnancy, the easier it becomes to turn into someone who merely “follows the doctor’s orders.” Through dozens of injections and complex procedures, patients swallow their questions, accept prescriptions without explanation, and bear the crushing weight of searching for the cause of failure within themselves.
The author asks: Was my egg truly to blame? Why couldn’t the embryo survive for a few more days? Was there any damage during the micro-fertilization process?
However, in many fertility clinics, these questions are rarely met with clear, satisfying answers. Instead, patients are given brief, stinging replies: “It’s your age,” or “It’s the poor quality of your eggs.” Patients shrink back, their doubts left unresolved, and they are steered toward yet another cycle, another attempt, and more uncertainty.
However, this book is not intended to blame fertility specialists or their clinics.
It is a book written for those specialists as well—doctors who often find themselves with no other way to explain the failure of a pregnancy than by pointing to a patient’s ovarian age or pathology. IVF is a realm akin to a “demilitarized zone” of medicine, where outcomes cannot be predicted with the same dramatic, cause-and-effect conclusions as other medical specialties. The author explains that the vague, overly technical, or even omitted explanations from doctors are, in a sense, an unavoidable reality of the field.
A fertility specialist must maintain the dignity of their craft, and a patient must be able to trust and lean on their doctor as a patient should. But if there is something you are curious about, you must be able to ask for an explanation with confidence; and a doctor must do their utmost to explain, helping the patient find their footing and confidence. In the end, what truly matters is not finding a ‘good doctor’ in the abstract, but meeting a doctor who is ‘the right fit for you.’
The author reveals that when you and your doctor truly become “one team,” that is when IVF finally begins to find its way toward success.
[Book Structure & Key Chapters]
The book dissects the entire IVF process across six chapters, pinpointing the essential truths every patient must know:
- Chapter 1: Choosing Your Specialist — “A doctor’s personality and philosophy directly impact the success of your pregnancy.” This chapter explores the chemistry between doctor and patient, the pros and cons of university hospital care, and the myths surrounding “famous doctors.”
- Chapter 2: The World of Ultrasound — “80% of a fertility specialist’s competence is in their ultrasound technique.” For a fertility doctor, ultrasound is their eyes and their strategy. This chapter explains the reality of how a difference in ultrasound interpretation can change your outcome, and how patients should understand this process.
- Chapter 3: IVF Treatment & Procedures — From artificial insemination and IVF to natural cycle therapy and egg retrieval skills, the author analyzes the distinct strategies and philosophies of different doctors.
- Chapter 4: Reproductive Diseases — This chapter highlights the conflicting interpretations among doctors regarding uterine and ovarian conditions, and dissects the various diseases that stand in the way of fertility.
- Chapter 5: Laboratory Technology — This chapter sheds light on the hidden heroes—the embryologists. It covers the uncomfortable truths of modern assisted reproductive technology, the limits of laboratory capabilities, and the fate of embryos that do not make it.
- Chapter 6: The Success and Failure of Pregnancy — From the secrets of implantation and the causes of miscarriage to the truth behind IVF success rates and the reality of over-testing and over-prescribing, this chapter unveils the essential information every patient deserves to know.
[Author Introduction]
The author is a writer who considers writing both a calling and the very reason for being. As a journalist for major publications like Monthly Chosun and Shin Dong-a, she has recorded countless scenes across the fields of current affairs and women’s magazines.
Seventeen years ago, she experienced IVF firsthand, and since then, she has consistently documented the front lines of fertility treatment. Her conversations with specialists and the wisdom shared through 50,000+ comments on online infertility communities are widely regarded as “must-reads” for patients who have lost their way. She continues to communicate with patients through social media, offering both comfort and practical information.
As a professional ghostwriter in the medical and scientific fields, she publishes over ten books a year. Her previous work, The Art of Pregnancy, captured the voices and insights of 26 fertility specialists.