Gaming Over Sex, Smartphones Over Dating… A New Landscape Created by Declining Sexual Activity, Spread of Singlehood, and Digital Immersion
“Dating? I want to, of course. But by the time I play a round of games and watch some YouTube, the day is already over.”
This is the post-work routine of Kim (31), an office worker living in Seongnam, Gyeonggi-do. As soon as he gets home and finishes dinner, he turns on his computer. Once he finishes his online games, he lies in bed, unable to put down his smartphone. Most nights are spent watching YouTube Shorts and scrolling through social media until he falls asleep. It’s been over a year since his last blind date. “It’s not that I dislike dating,” he says. “It’s just that spending the time and energy on it feels increasingly burdensome.”
This landscape is no longer unfamiliar. In the past, dating and marriage were considered natural milestones in the lives of young men, but now, games, smartphones, and online content occupy a significant portion of their leisure time. Dating and sex have become just one of many options, and marriage is being pushed further into the future.
In fact, overseas studies consistently observe a decline in the sexual activity of the younger generation.
Analyzing the reduction in sexual activity among young adults since the late 2000s, American researchers reported that the decline in romantic relationships was the primary factor, and for men, the increase in computer game usage was also a related factor. However, the researchers noted that gaming alone cannot explain the entire phenomenon, analyzing that various factors such as economic instability and social changes are acting in combination.
The Smartphone as a Substitute for Human Connection
The advent of the smartphone has drastically changed how humans consume leisure. A significant portion of the pleasure that once required meeting people in person has migrated to the screens in our hands. Online games provide competition and a sense of accomplishment, while short-form videos and social media create constant, new stimulation.
Experts explain that as these digital contents provide repetitive, immediate satisfaction, the time invested in face-to-face relationships is relatively decreasing.
Economic realities are also fueling this change. Soaring housing prices, delayed employment, and an unstable job market are cited as representative factors delaying marriage and childbirth. Analysts suggest that with the addition of a digital environment where one can spend time comfortably alone, a culture is spreading where people are not in a hurry to date.
Indeed, data from Statistics Korea shows that the number of marriages has dropped significantly compared to the past, and the age of first marriage is steadily rising. The birth rate is also at a world-record low. Experts point out that approaching low birth rates solely through economic problems has limitations. They argue that one must also look at the changes in people’s lifestyles, human relationships, and digital culture.
Psychiatrists state, “While it is difficult to conclude that smartphones or games completely eliminate libido, it is clear that the way people spend leisure time and form relationships is changing. As digital content that gives immediate gratification increases, it is hard to deny that the weight that dating and marriage occupy in life is lower than in the past.”
Sociologists believe the current low birth rate is difficult to explain with economy, housing, and employment issues alone. The fact that smartphones and online culture are changing the very nature of human relationships is an important variable. They analyze that a flow is continuing where the age of starting to date is pushed back, the rate of choosing marriage is decreasing, and childbirth is naturally declining.
Once, the nights of young men headed outdoors to meet people. Now, many finish their days by logging into games in their rooms and flipping through smartphone screens. To understand the era of low birth rates, one must look not only at the number of births but also at how the nights of the youth have changed.
Perhaps South Korea’s population decline did not start with statistics from the government, but long ago in the bedrooms, living rooms, and small screens in our hands.
※ This article was written based on studies published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, JAMA Network Open, and Archives of Sexual Behavior, as well as public data from Statistics Korea and the OECD. It does not replace a specific individual’s diagnosis or treatment, and actual medical judgment must be made through consultation with a specialist.
※ Image: Created using generative AI (ChatGPT, OpenAI); depicts fictional individuals, not real people.